A pinch of friendship..Rebuilt.. No?

Today, something really interesting happened. The morning woke up the way it should as usual. Nothing more than an ordinary thursday morning. Till when i came to class at 9am, I found out the class was forwarded to 12pm. I mean, how smart can some people be to not let their students know about this. And so, being forced by myself, I went.

I also went to Low Yat today. With my Cherrie, Keith and Caster. Caster has been joining us for a week. Everything seems to be together again. Together. I hope we could last like this till forever. Im just wondering what could've triggered the madness in all of us?

Anyway, something came up! I gotta go!

Morning of Hopes

Morning! For the first time, I'm actually blogging at 8.30am in the morning as Im getting ready for college.

It wont take long. As usual, classes started yesterday. Like always, after classes I went back to the house. WE HAVE INTERNET! Hahaha. Finally. Connected again to the world. ;)

Anywho, today I'm gonna have Computer Graphics 1 & Photography. I suppose it might b an interesting day today. Man, so many things to do. I hope God will help me throughout my whole endeavours in studies.

So, I have to go now. Or else someone's gonna have my head.

Cheerio!

I Love You....

What is Love but a feeling of un-shattered care and want. What is Love if I may ask, but to wield yourself in a choice between you and together?

Who is there to answer this? But only God? Only God knows.

Today, I feel as though my life is, Alhamdulillah perfect! Knowing that I have a GREAT family. A great girl that i Love so much. And my friends. And I hope, my studies would be of my perfection in life too.

But then again, I think that I have found her. The one that has a place in my heart. And soul. A person who really understands me. And be there for me. Love me not for who I am, But WHAT I am to her. I truly thank God for her. My sister(left) also thinks that she's lovely. For an 8 year old. Anything is lovely. But this time, i could see 'us'. I really don't want to think much about it. As they say, sometimes, when you hope too much, It won't turn out the way you want it to. But heck. Let God decide before we even speculate. Oh Allah! I give you my utmost trust in all my life's handling.

I know it might sound too religious or orthodox, but hey! It's God we're talking about man!

So, tonight I had two more songs put up in my collection. Mungkin by Anuar Zain and Mungkir Bahagia by Hazami. Very beautiful compositions they are. Malaysians. We can! Haha

Tonight was also the Juara Lagu. I could see Malaysia is improving in their Music Industry. Keep it up!

So, tomorrow, college starts. With a 10am Faculty briefing. Which I think might end sooner than I think. I hope, this new semester, I would strive and do my best. Not only for myself, but also for my parents. And to my siblings. Goals. I do have them. Melbourne 2008! How does that sound? Well, sounds easy but hey, I wouldnt place my bets on it just yet. Maybe i'd re-think and go after my degree studies. As they say " Slow and Steady wins the race!". I hope this quote is true. Hahaha.

I have to admit. These few days, i have been quite solemn. Sad? Depressed? For what ever reason I really don't know. Im afraid I might not want to! Haha. Sometimes a short laughter makes me a great man for the whole day. Seems to be that, God is helping out. In many ways. And like Zehan says, "it's always good to know that we can lay our backs and ask God for help". Thanks Zae. =)

Tis isn't farewell. Just a short relief from my deep thoughts and as you can see. " Dispersions of thoughts". Ironic, isn't it? Haha. Valentine's day is coming up. I hope i'll have something up my sleeves. Cheerio!

-HiLmi-

IL DIVO - LIVE in KL

Sorry I don't have any pictures but my parents went and said it was GREAT! It was Magnifique! haha

Anyway, I just only remembered IL DIVO saying :

" No Matter In What Language a Love Song is in. Everyone will know it is one."

Patience...

Afternoon...When the sun is resting and the moon preparing. A sight of blurry skies, and of tired faces. I got back from Rawang. From a tyre shop. Why you ask? Well, I have a great liking towards rims and tyres. Though many people thinkn that it's a waste of time and money, I don't care. Well, why should I?

Well, when i got back, parents were looking at me in a different way. As if they were mad or something. I can't help to think, Im always doing something bad. Am I?

Yesterday night, I had a gathering. A family gathering, for it marks a new year in the Islamic Calendar. Muharram. The first month in Islam.

We had prayers and all done in the living room. As usual, we had a feast at the back. All were present.

Along is getting married in June!! Can't wait to see what's gonna happen. Truly am excited. I pray it'll all turn out great! 7.7.7 the date chose the 7th of June 2007.

So, ill write up somemore tonight. Maybe. If im not too busy packing and stuff. Tomorrow will be my return to college. So, cheerio!

p.s: tonight is the final episode! The Return of the Jedi!!

Clouds of wisdom...

A spot of cloud i could see whilst i was driving down the road. Overlooking the green trees, and brown land that covers the earth. Screeching sounds of engines from cars. Rushing and Thrusting their way around the roads around me.

Today is Friday. Or it was friday. Well, I often wondered, how God is all merciful to us. Giving us life day by day, yet seeing people destroy His good earth. The planet he gave us to live. I wonder sometimes, are we being fair? Are we being who we are supposed to be?

Anyway, today I went for Friday prayers. The Khatib was talking about Maal Hijrah. Or moving. It caught my attention when he was talking about the spirit Rasulullah s.a.w had to leave his hometown, and go to a distant land.

As usual, lunch after that. A quiet day indeed. Watched the telly with Ira. Little Britain. How insane some people get. Haha moments of laughter filled me through the solemn evening.

So to end tonight, like a cliche, aurevoir!

-HiLmi -

It Has Been Awhile...

Awhile since I blogged. Sometimes I ponder myself, will I ever run this blog perfectly the way i wanted to? All in time.

So it has been a few days. Everything seems to be good. I went for my college registration on monday. Met lots of old friends. And made new ones too. Anyway, enough about school.

I think ill talk a little bit about a girl. A girl that made a difference in my life. She made me believe that it won't hurt to be yourself. And also lots more. She is of an ordinary background. Though coming from a royal family bloodline, she doesnt like the fact that people look up to her because of her name.

She is an old friend. A childhood friend. Im sure lots of my friends are smiling or gigling when they read this part of the blog. Anyway, she was born on the 10th of October 1988. She has a personality of a joker, caring sister and a daughter of hopes. Studying accounting, she strives hard to get to where she is now. A perfect education since young and getting scholarships all year around.

I thank God for blessing me and her each day. Every morning, she would be the one to bright up my day. And if im lucky, it might last me till the night. I love her for who she is. And im sure, she wont be reading my hopeless blog soon, im sure it wouldnt hurt to write more. Haha

With a Hari Raya open house, Happy Feet movie at GSC, lunch at Chillis and yada yada. I remember every single tiny time i spent with her. For it's the most enjoyable and memorable time I could ever have in my Life. Thank u Allah. For giving me such a wonderful person to bright up my life. And I hope that, i am doing the same for her.

As such, tonight, ill end it with a short goodbye. And will be off to bed. I promise ill get myself to change my layout and stuff later if im free.

-p.s: today marks my parents 20th Anniversary! It's also Nadhira's 19th birthday. How time flies. Cheerio!-

HiLmi

Settles of A Day..

Today was very chilly. A chill in the air, made me think twice of waking up early for breakfast. So mama just had to spoil my dreams and poof!..I was awake. Or so i thought. Haha Yeah. So we had breakfast. A bowl of Mee Hoon. Hmm Then papa said "Get ready to go KLCC!"..

So Im doing a Recon mission to getting my new rims.Haih i Really have no idea how to tell my dad. I just want it. =( but i should just be thankful for what i have. =)

Anyway, at night, Akma called me. I was the happiest man on earth! Haha. eLvie said I was on cloud 9. Hahahar.. Anyway, had an hour of chat with her. It's nice to know her parents are OK with me. Hm Missing her already.

Dungkopf! Haha anyway, Im gonna go off now. Tomorrow Im ciaoing to college. So won't be blogging much till I get back. Till then, cheerio!!

A Cut of Woe...

Today is very frustrating and entirely so painful to my heart. Im afraid this time, my blog would end up being very emo and depressed. Basically, I couldnt stand how people could be so reckless and unthoughtful. ARRGHHH!!! Talk about stress management.

So today i went and picked up my dad at night. With my mum. She drove at a speed of 160km/h because we were late.Haha Papa arrived right on time. 8.30pm. We had dinner after that. Laksa Johor! Haha.

Anyway, crap time. I was talking to a close friend of mine. She was being a mentor and helped me out. The question i gave was. Why can't I be mean? Why am I treating everyone far too nice? What the FCUK is wrong with me? So she answers. Dumbass! Nothing's wrong with you. Thanks there C (not real name). Really needed that slap.

So my house in cyberjaya is all cooked up in a mess......Again!..The surges, ports and what not. Argh, i so am hating it. Anyway tonight would be quick as it's already 1.40am in the morning. Tomorrow im heading to KLCC with my dad. He said he missed shopping. Haha. Anywho, I'm gonna sign off right now. Because my bloody head just can't take shit anymore. So Good nite denizens of earth! =) Salam.

-HiLms-

Rev up !!

Today was another boring day i might say. Woke up at 11.00. Got ready for friday prayers. Drove up to the mosque. And there I found myself at a sweet serenity of the mosque. At the hour, I was listening to the Khatib talking about the aspects of life and prayers. It was rather interesting actually.

Moving on to the afternoon. I went and sent my old slippers for repairs. Badly damaged i must say. Bought Kuay Teow for lunch. Went back home and ate the meal. Man, it was good. Haha. Yeah, today Im having this big SNC.net gathering late that evening. Imagine 20 cars. And having so many people. And discussing about the club and what not. We had lots of fun and enjoyed ourselves. I don't know about them, but i did. Ilham went along too. It was from 8.30-12.00. Mama pulled a long face when she knew i wasnt on the way yet. I truly am sorry ma. Though she might not be able to see this. I might apologize in the morning. =)

So, tonight would be a short passage, where I met tons and tons of people. Types of em too. And the different characters. Man. I havent seen the whole world yet have I? For me to know, and for you to find out.

-HiLms-

Moments of stress and awaiting..argh!

What the heck happened to the net? Oh my God, i would pretty much want an explanation. Though i already have one. Maybe it's caused by the earthquake which happened near to a week ago in Taiwan. I wonder how the survivors are. I wonder how the other victims are doing.





Anyway, ill just do a sprint blog this time. So two days of no blogging. Made me kind of insane actually. Have been sleeping early and all. I found out that i just can't stand myself looking at the Neo'rians changing their rims and all. Racun u might call it too. See, i know it is of no difference. But i do like the change. If ever my father would allow me to, i would greatly appreciate it.





Moving on to the meeting i had with the SNC committee and Budimas MAA charity foundation. I came as early as 9.00 am in the morning. We agreed to have it at 10. Well, i wasnt wearing my watch i suppose. Raja Saadi, a manager of the Project Development of Budimas came at around 9.30am. He treated me a cup of Cappucino just to run the time while waiting for the Vice President and Einhander and Dee to come. Anyway, we had the meeting at exactly 10.05am. Ms.Millie Sia, the vice chairman or president under the board of trustees started to talk about charity and what the organisation does. She is also one of my mums friend. A very nice lady she is. The meeting is should i say confidential until a certain extent which i will post it later till i find it ok to be posted.





So after that we had lunch there at Charlies Reserve. Used to be called Capistrano. I had a bowl of Ginger Mee. Dee had a plate of Fried vermicelli and Ein had a plate of tenderloin steak.Yum! hm to those SNC.net members who didnt make it. Sorry guys! haha So Along, my eldest cousin was there too. He also works in MAA. He is like a mentor. A supervisor if u may call it to me. He guides me and also tells me if im doing something wrong or no.





Then i met papa at the VIP eating room. Everyone was looking at me. The whole day, all i could think of was to be like him. An idol to many. Respected by what he has done and not because who he was before. He is a man of dignity and a distinguished mind. He is my father. Ramlan Abdul Rashid. He is very caring towards his family. His fellow colleagues. And so on. He was born a normal man. Studied hard. VERY hard to get himself to school and University. Studied in Ball State Uni America. Truly my father has worked per se his butt off to get to where he is now. Granted the title of Datuk and given the oppurtunity to be in the board of Director, i simply am amazed at him. He has the leadership skills i adore and also the maths brain of Einstein. He is different from those i've met. Well of course! He's my dad for God's sake.
He had to go on the bicycle with his dad and brother to go to school. A 10 kilometer ride every day!! Make it 20 for the return trip! Man, it mustve hurt. But i look up to him as more than my father. He is like a mentor to me. A judge, a teacher, a lecturer, a joker(haha), and those things u won't think he is. Overall, he has my support in whatever he is doing. And i Love him so. And i hope he is to me too.

Moving on to today, i went out with Akma. Finally, after two weeks. It was great to see her again. It brought me a smile. Which could last me the whole week. Well, we went and had a short lunch as she had to hurry back for English class in Shah Alam. After the whole soiree, me and my mum had a second lunch. She was hungry. What could i do?? haha So she was asking lots and lots about Akma. Im grateful that she understands our position and relationship now. And i thank God for giving me the chance of a lifetime.

Today also, something really sad happened. A friend of mine, lost her father. A heart attack was all it took. I was also thinking about her condition right now. And also of Zae. I wonder what she is facing. After what that bloody moron did to her. How could he be such a mindless asshole so moronic that i can't even believe my ears??

So yeah, tomorrow, me and the SNC.net people are going to meet up with the Proton people at the Centre of Exellence in Subang. A general meeting to intro ourselves towards the media. I hope all goes well.

Just a small message to people out there. Take care of what u already have. For if God was to take it away. You might not get another chance to embrace that moment again. Think wise.

-HiLms-

A Day of Worries...

Bon Jour!! Hmm today was a pleasant day indeed. I woke up as usual, like a lazy bear in the woods, at 1pm. Haha i know i know. I should lay off sleeping so much. Makes me duller, no? Hmm anyway, Mama woke me up and said " Papa's coming back tonite!! We have to go and send the Estima off for a carwash!" and so i woke up with my eyes closed and went straight to the toilet. Well, theorologically, i did bang the wall and sort.





So there I was with my mum in One Utama. We went for lunch while waiting. We had the Estima washed in an hour or so. Hmm so i had Kuay Teow and Mum had Laksa. So eating away lunch time and the clock striked 3! Hmm so we went down and got to the car. Me in the Neo and her in the Estima. She was scared that she had to wait a few hours for the car to be cleaned so i had to bring the Neo along.






Went back home. And how time flies! It was time to pick up Ilham and Ira. Hmm So off i went! Forcing myself to drive through the horrendous traffic in front of the school. Shit. It was tiring.


Then at around 4, Aunty Millie came to take pictures of the stuff i wanted to donate to the charity organisation. And we also just had too many things in the house. Easy way out? Throw em all away. Haha.

Hmm ok so a close friend of mine, Noor Zehan Ahmad Hisham, did this beauty tonight at around 11.40 pm. She did a poem. A good one it is. Well, at least to me. I'll give it a topic.

Solace Serenade

U make me sick..
burnin hot with fever
but i dun wana push u away
i yern 4 u mo
of each passin day
dat makes me churn
ur not longer there
not bcoz ur my despair
U were wat i cared
bout most in a split second
and i noe i shudnt
so now dis is my mortal sin
in love and not with him
da desire is glutinous
n i m full of sin
show me da way
back 2 da rite path
bring down da warm light
with thou wrath
take it all away
dis pain n misery
for now i noe
i can only turn 2 thee.

By: the Zae

Hmm so what do you think? Good eh? Hm well i think it is bloody brilliant. She mustve had her heart felt when she did this. I even told her, the last time i tried writing, i cried. For several days i couldnt pick myself up. So yeah, Solace Serenade.

To wrap up this set, i would like to thank God for giving me a tomorrow to fix myself and get everything right. And till next time, bye!!

-Hilmi-

Boredom seeps into me..what does tomorrow hold?

Im back! Heheh hmm this time with a photo of me, my lecturer in Life Drawing studies and keith. =) That man in the middle there is so good in the ways of the Arts. He thought my class. And i also went personally to him. And asked for advice and sort. Good chap this man here. He might look as if he's nothing. Do give him a pencil and see what he can do. Better yet, not a pencil, just anything. And he'll scribble a masterpiece out for you. Anywho, it has been a great honor to be studying under you sir. And also for that boy sitting on the right? Haha i believe he is of his own talents. His works are also miraculous. Hmm maybe it's only me. Im the only one hopeless in this field. Haih. Practice i suppose.

So today began at 2.30 pm??haha last night i slept late. Around 4 something or so i thought. Then i had the most frightening dream. Yeap. Scary it was. Woke up at 2.30pm. Went and brushed my teeth. And had lunch with my mum and sister. Mee Rebus. Haha consisting of noodles in thick potato gravy. Yumm.

Then i started going online. As usual, snc.net! hm today was a bit slow and nothing of the ordinary. Seems to be that everyone is busy with either work or school. And im busy with, oh well, nothing! Haha. Hmm went on the net till it was 7pm. Then had my dinner. Truly today was short. And also very boring. Yet again, i did a few chores. Hm so the night came by. Had chats along the night. Today i think, my blog would be the shortest of them all. Maybe i'd stick to short and sweet!. Haha. Hmm papa's coming back tomorrow night. He coulndt catch a plane for today. Anyway, i'm supposed to meet up with the SNC.net comm members tomorrow night. And also, i'm supposed to go and meet her tomorrow afternoon. And papa's coming back at night. Ouch. That's so going to hurt. Aiya yai. How am i suppose to go through this. Hmm may God help me.

So she called and said she's free tomorrow. She said she wants to see me. So ok. Finally a chance to see her! After so long. But then, I wonder how am i to tell papa that. Anywho, Im just scared that my dad would be furious at me. For things like not being at home when he comes back and etcetra. Was it a mistake to have joined this club? Was it?? Hmm maybe it wasnt. Maybe i should practice abstinence and refrain from spending too much time with them. Maybe. Just Maybe.

And so, I end tonite with just a simple goodbye. God Bless.

-Hilmi-

Quote 1

Update on Quote of the Week:

1st week of January:
" The Angel or the Devil, good or bad, are the Denizens of one's heart. Where the Angel is, there the Devil cannot be. It is Life, the game of Musical chairs, Only one person can occupy the chair"

FFX- A Spell of Magic..

Name: Lulu

Abilities: Black Magic

Originality: Final Fantasty X

She's a witch or a black magic practitioner born on the isle of Besaid. She can put up quite a spectacular show in burning a Fender by Fira or maybe curse the undead by Ultima. Make it more happening by doubling it with Double-Cast. She seems to be one of my favourite characters. Not that the others aren't.

Like a sister to Yuna, she became Yuna's guardian ever since Yuna started her endeavour in Aeon summoning. And so, a little spoiler here. WARNING. Lulu eventually helped the gang with her powerful spell casting in defeating Yu Yevon.

-i'll keep updating final fantasy characters!-

A tear in the rain..Do you see it?

Do you see it? That little tear in the raindrops? I knowit might be a weird way to start off a post. Haha. Anyway, today is the 6th of January. How time flies. Woke up at 11.30am. Woke up due to the musical symphony i heard from my sisters room. Mama had people to get rid of all the cupboard and cabinets. So there goes the orchestra.

At around 12.40pm, i started my car. As usual, pressing the aircond buttons and what not. So then i started to drive off. Whilst driving, i tried to text haris and mama. Saying that i just left the house for cyberjaya. Haris, my housemate in cyberjaya. Great chap. Anywho, i drove slowly till i passed the NKVE flyover. After Shah Alam, then i tried one of the unimaginable things.Haha. That's for me to know, and for you to find out. =p Anyway, The drive was nice. With the music i just burned. I found out that this music im craved to is from the series Goong. It's superb. Extravaganzio!

I text'd haris saying i arrived. He was in the house with Kevin already. Was kinda glad seeing them again. To my surprise. The house was clean! Oh My God, those were the words stuck to my heart. The kitchen, the hall, the upper level. Clean! Haha. I put down my stuff. Then had a chat with the boys since it has been such a lng period. We started talking about the house bills. And moved on to the internet issue. And moved on to to the deco of the house as the house looked like a morgue from outside. Hm I felt an odd feeling inside me. I knew I shouldve told them. But i didn't. Ah who cares. It'll just have to wait. Anyway, we went on chatting and chatting. Till we felt it was so draggy that we took our asses to the TMnet building. Hm then tra lala.Lunch and etcetra.

Went back home at around 5.00pm. Very tired. Havent got a decent sleep these days. I wonder what is haunting me. Only God knows. Sometimes in bed, before i sleep, i say to myself, there is always something i missed out during the day. And i regret not doing. Enough talk about sleeping now.Haha.

Well, as usual, a picture to share. I know no one is actually going to read my crap. But anyways. Here's a picture of the DM Family. Haha D-irty M-inds Family. Well as the word portrays itself, we were like that! We..were. Everyone was so together. Had dinner together. Everything! Well we even had outings. And people would look at us. Haha. Hm Respectively from left to right Marcus Chu-Keith Soertsz-Hui Rong-Hilmi-Cat-Ruben-Haris-Kevin Soertsz-Cherrie-Caster-Enbi and Maz. It was good times. I hope 2007 will be better. I do pray so.

Tonite ill try and make it short. Hm i might try to be more happy go lucky in this blog rather than being all mushed up and sort. Haha maybe it's because I'm missing her too much. This her im talking about. Well, She's one in a million. Although it sounds like it's a cliche but it isnt to me. She is the most wonderful person i've met in my life. And the duration of time i've known her. Is quite remarkable actually. I keep talking about her day by day to myself. Haha. Maybe im going insane. Maybe I already am? Well she just opens up my day everytime. But till recently, we havent been seeing each other. Nor call and sms. We do, but maybe just one or two texts and thats it. =( kinda sad really but hey! I can't do anything about it right? Maybe she has her reasons. Maybe I should erm hold on and be strong. I wonder what she thinks of us now. I think of us more than special. But it's been a week since we've seen each other. So it's very frustrating. That she's spending time with friends and not with someone who's missing her. But he shouldnt complaint. She has a life. It's not his for the taking and control. Right? Carte Blanche the french call it.

A sudden silence creeps into me everytime i think of her. Ah i don't know man.

To end the night, just a quote from Mrs. Naidu's English class which i've taken for 8 years. God bless her.

"Your life is for your own. None others. So don't keep other lives. For it's not yours."

- Hilmi -

A screech of elegance....

The Violin. A stretch of strings. And of wood carvings which compensate the loudness and screeching melody of music. By far, I like this instrument the most. The tendency of violinists like Vanessa Mae and the British quartet, BOND, oh yes i love their music; putting in their heart and soul in playing the magical music. Wintersun, Korobushka, Duel, Fuego, Caliente mix, Viva.

The songs mean alot to me. Lame or gay u may call it. But it's what i love! The music just seeps into my heart and changes my emotions and feelings. Sometimes, it can be a good mood'ing method. Anyways, It's the passion that these musicians show that makes me excited. Not in the crazy way. Sometimes i just close my eyes, and think about lots of imaginary things. Things which are happy! Sad....Depression most of the time,if i may say so myself. Being able to play is one thing. But listening and be inspired by it is much better. For a change,ive always thought of Rock music and Metal. But, it just doesn't go with me. Nor does Beethoven or others. Maybe cannon in D would. But i do love classical guitar.

Call me Classical if you must. I believe that music is one of the ties that could bind peace together in this world. Once again. Till then.

-HiLmi-

The Sound of the Violin...I end the day.

At the silence sound of the afternoon. I came back from One Utama at around 6.00pm. I drove like a mad cow. Maneuvering from one corner to another. While Nad was driving her Atos right beside me. Haha. It's been so long since all of us went out together. Though no tear was out of my eyes, but in my heart i felt sad. haih. Anyways, It felt good. Got to meet Mushira and the others too! They were having lunch at Nandos. SO, we went off for our own set of venture.

Hmm, before that, while i was waiting for Nad,Jehan,Zehan and Afiq to arrive, i called up Einhander. I was telling him about the idea i had of the joint-venture between MAA's Budimas Foundation together with SatriaNeoClub.net. The idea was then celebrated by Aunty Millie. Aunty Millie is more like a very close aunt to me. She somewhat really cares about me and my well being. As if she was my own aunt. Anyway, she said it was a brilliant idea! Maybe SNC.net might have an oppurtunity in venturing itself to the outside world eh? Who knows? Only time will tell.

After we had lunch, we went to the Curve. I felt kinda bad leaving Zae. I didnt even think that she might be alone at that time. Sorry Zae. Me and Afiq spent some quality time looking for books at Borders The Curve. Artsy Fartsy u may call it, but what the heck! We then strolled down the open aired aisle. We went to Le Cucur. Yeah, it's "Le Cucur" ! haha How french can be so 'everywhere' these days. Oui? Everytime i see any form of french language, it reminds me of Keith. Keith Aloysious Soerstz. One of my good friends in college. He can speak french. FLUENTLY! and he has a twin brother too! hmm so moving on back to my soiree. I had fresh orange juice and Afiq had coffee. Didnt know he drinks coffee. hehe

Then Afiq drove us back to One Utama. Me and Nad got back to our cars after a short hug. That was when the early part of this post came about.

This is a picture of my very good friends. haha This was taken at the Putrajaya Mosque. We were having our photography session! Was hot but was enjoyable.

Anywho, tonite i had a special guest at home. My cousin and my Aunt. Maktua and Kak Siti. From Sentul Kuala Lumpur. They came by to get some things my Grandma left a few weeks ago. Anyway, was nice to get to talk to Kak Siti again. She's already driving a car! a Kelisa Manual Ezi. She also made som jokes and made me and ira laughed the night. She was so nice to bring us Mee Goreng for dinner. I was kinda hungry at that time. Haha. So it was already 10.30. They went back home. And me, as usual, would go back to my faithful laptop and listen to music. I just found out i had a collection of violin mix songs. Haha. Anyway, then i started moving around blogspot! hehe

While listening to one of the songs, i felt a sad and emotional feat running thru my ears. A sudden cry of the violin made me 'fall'.It was somewhat telling me a story. A sad story. As if life has gave up on him/her. I know it sounds ridiculous, but yeah. I believe that through music, we can actually find our beat or rythm. Just like Mumble from Happy Feet. Tap dancing is his rythm. I wonder what could mine be. Today me n mama were talking about God and our lives. We were questioning the fact that, could it be that God lets us live because we have a job to do? I strongly believe that Allah s.w.t has His purpose in letting people live.

When i was in Madinah Al-Mukarramah, I prayed that If i was to die, i prayed to God "Please let me die here at Bukit Baqi' in Madinah". Though it wasnt answered how i wanted it to be. But i believe that God has me alive for a reason. And i still don't know what it could be. Like how mama nearly got herself killed in a car crash. It was a battle of speed and endurance between a German made 2005 BavariaMotorWelcan or BMW 3 series and the high strong walls beside the road, just before Carcosa Seri Negara. God must've helped her. I believe so. If it wasnt for her sudden shock, she wouldnt have repented and started to pray to God. And made us, the whole family fly to Saudi Arabia. And did our pilgrimage there.

Anyhow, i've been having bad dreams of late. Dreams of which i can't even remember in the end. But still bits and pieces of it is still stuck to my head. I could only remember me falling or crashing. I know it sounds very scary and sudden but yeah. What couldve triggered it. Hmm when bad dreams arise, i get scared. I didnt know who to turn to. It was night time. Who COULD i turn to? Then i thought, why not Allah. He's ever merciful. I could feel He's watching over me from everywhere. Every action i take.

I also realised that i have an inner self that actually fights me. Get it? Fights ME? haha it sounds so ridiculous that people might start to think that im crazy. But anywho, whenever i feel like im doing something wrong, a persona or something in me would halt me. Whether it was successful or no. It still made me wonder. Could it be the subconcious mind? Hmm i'd rather not talk about it. For an 18 year old. I think that, i think too much maybe. I wonder what other 18 year olds think. Maybe because i feel lost inside. Alone. And there's nothing i can do about it. But sometimes i also think that I am alright. People asking me for advice and all. I re-think and evaluate. What about me? If i am the one helping all the time. Who's going to help me? Maybe it is true what a singer sang in his song "I Walk Alone....".

College is starting soon. 15th of January. Tomorrow, saturday, im heading to CyberRia, my rental house. To clean up the mess they made. Thinking of the house just makes me ache sometimes. Zae says i love the drama too much. But for me, it's not the drama. To think that some people have the guts and wits to do certain things just pisses the hell out of me. We're no more toddlers here!! Hmm maybe it's lack of respect. Or maybe lack of understanding. I wonder.

"To err is human but to forgive is Divine"
This sentence has always been stuck to my bottom whenever i am filled with anger over someone or something.

To end tonite, I think Im gonna try and get a good nites sleep. Why not? Even Sun-Kissed from SNC said. "Get some rest. Uve been online too long" Maybe she's right. Anyway, It doesnt matter for now. I need to get my focus on track. And get my tracks placed first. If in any way i want to focus myself. Hahaha.

With the sound of this last song, i bid goodnite. Bon Soir. Bon Nuit. Arriverdecci. Chalcha. Oyasumi. Selamat Malam.

-Hilmi Ramlan

www.SatriaNeoClub.net

A club of distinguished exellence. Formed by the owners of the Satria Neo Malaysia. I joined this club a few weeks after I was given my Neo. This club is still new. But i believe it will be of great activities and exciting drives. The website www.satrianeoclub.net is as how it suggests. A club for Satria Neo enthusiasts. Led by a group of people. The commitee members. In the future, i hope this club would be acknowledged by the media and also other car clubs. As for me, i'll truly support this club if their means are true. Apart from that, we have weekly get togethers a.k.a TT's or Teh Tarik Sessions. We just had out sticking session last night. Truly a great start for this club. All the best.

Viva Le SNC!!!

-HiLms-

Morning Has Broken..

Tis was 7.04 in the morning when i saw the time on my phone this morning. Here i have a picture to share with everyone. A picture of the four of us. It was taken during a Performance and Awards Night in 2005. I couldn't remember the date and day though. I only remembered Nad went up to the stage, winning the Presidential Award. So, the point of me sharing this photo; i'm seeing them today. After so long we've been parted. Each by our own destination and studies. Afiq (left) has gona for Architecture and Design studies in UTM KL. The one in pink, Jae went for A levels in UEM Perak. Nad, the one in white and denim, went to India. To further her studies also in A levels under the International Baccaularate programme. And the monkey on the right. That's me. He went to pursue a Graphic Designs course in LimKokWing University College of Creative Technology, Cyberjaya.

All pursuing different areas of studies. Different locations. We still remained in contact. Even without seeing each other for so long. Our memories in school we're still kept in our hearts. Well, im not sure about them. But i have.

In high school, Sekolah Sri KDU. i've had the time of my life. There i poured out my heart and soul. Whether it was studies or personal. I met many people. Well, types of people should be it. Nothing bad really! It's just, you'll need to have the tolerance in knowing these people. Thank God i've met them. Anyhow, these three people here are like the pearls of my life besides my family. You can say, family's like Burberry and friends are like Gucci. They're of the same class but of different places in my heart. I've promised to meet them in One Utama today. At 2.00pm after friday prayers that is.

While listening to my fave selection of music on my laptop, i looked out the window. No honestly. I was. The weather had a bit of chill in it. I did read the papers today. It was about the typhoon and thunderstorms heading towards Peninsular Malaysia. Then, i moved on to the entertainment part. The wits of some people, slamming and jamming till morning light. And at the same time, 200,000 people are homeless in Johor Darul Takzim. How are we as humans to act like this?. Im not against any form of entertainment. Dj Sammy & Tiesto. I love their chemistrical music. I won't deny. But where is the humanity in this?Haha!! Sometimes i laugh even at myself. How dastardly lucky I am. To have a place to stay. A family. And such. While lots of them out there are left with nothing. Abit of something maybe. Or even alot of nothing.

Anyways, let the World be. Leave it for it's none of yer business. =) Well until when will we be this way. It's already 8.45am. I'm neither sleepy nor am i awake. Go figure! hahaha I think im actually going to enjoy blogging really. Puring out ideas and thoughts.

I started reading abit of poetry. Got me quite interested. It was " If there are any Heavens" by e.e cummings. The material is themed after mothers. "a heaven pansy nor a fragile heaven, but a great one with guardians of men..."

Of course, Men are what their mothers made them. A mother is she who can take place of all others. Yet alone, whose place none else can take.

So, i'll stop writing as my brain and my mind would need some sleep. Hmm maybe this interlude might give me more aspiring ideas to write more at night! So, i'll be off.

Cheerio! -hiLmi-

A Brave Step...

A definite start of recordance. In fact, i might last this blog throughout the month. A beat to start up this blog, i told myself. "It's about time.." What I thought at first would be a waste of time could actually be a means of focusing myself in my endeavorous adventures in life. Not knowing what lies ahead, i strut myself out of bed everyday at about 10 or 12pm. And whilst i was forcing my aching body to wake up, i tend to think. Why bother waking up when there's nothing to do?

I believe that many students are either enjoying themselves in school or hating it. Today marks the 2nd day of school. I told my siblings today. Study hard. Study well. Don't turn put like me. My brother as usual puts on a deaf ear. My sister holding my hand and being all cuddly. The day was a tiring one. Maybe because I haven't actually done anything except consuming food and putting my head to rest on a pillow. As the sun was at the peak of the horizon, i went out *sigh* to send Neo for a wash. Neo; a twillight blue 1.6 auto H-Line Proton Satria Neo. A knight i adore and love. So, i went on sending my car through the curved roads outside Tropicana. Reached the petrol station 'ESSO' in less than 5 minutes. Could've been shorter if it wasnt for the "Red, orange and greens".

Vooosh! Water struck my car from the back. Sourcing from a hose of pressure. The gentleman swept thru the car for about 5 minutes. Then came along the soap extravaganza. Wiping their way, i was listening to Asmaradana, a song of classical inheritance of love by Datin Tiara Jacquelina from Puteri Gunung Ledang. Not long after that, they knocked on my window. "Ok sir." And it was somewhat a cue for me to get my ass out and pay up at the ticketing counter inside. I took out RM10.00. While looking at the other bills in my wallet, i passed the cash to the counter-lady. She looked as if she could just faint anytime soon. Anywho, Neo was sparkling bright when i was back after paying. I drove off happily when my eyes were struck by a Myvi from afar. Black 17' rims. And K-II speed stickers. Interesting. And so, the journey home. I reached the house. Gave Salam. Syakirah replied my salam. =) How i wish to see her grow up into a lady. Took a bath and saw that it was about to rain. What curse has befall me tis day. Oh nevermind!

The evening went past so slow that i could do so many things at once. Haha how weird is it that i could actually miss that someone till i was heart sick. Hmm enough of that. So i dressed up in my Quicksilver T-shirt and Levi's Jeans. awaiting the for the strike of 8.30pm. And so, i had dinner alone. While watching TV. Just a fried egg and some vege with fish strips. 8.25pm my watch showed. So i went upstairs. Gave mama a kiss on the cheek and said good bye. Mama warned..well it sounded more like advice to me. She said i shouldnt be out too late.

I drove to Aman Suria to meet up with fellow SNC'ians. Lame may it sound but i think, it's somewhat an obsession that these people spend their time and money for a car. Had discussions with the president, Einhander and others like ikandarat,zasryn,udin,rusty,keegan,ic3,dir3woLf,dee and others. I paid RM10 for the official club sticker. It looks very nice even at first glance. We then went and paste the stickers on our cars respectively. I wasn't sure where to stick it. So hell it was. I went and stick up the sticker at the rear left window of Neo. Looked elegant. Truly.

A word of advice to myself. I loved the rims and the modifications the guys and gurls did to their cars. But i kept thinking back. I don't need all those for now. Suit myself up with priorities for God's sake. And so i went home at exactly 10.30pm and reached home 5 minutes later. With my HID's on, the security guards were somewhat curious. So, the house was dark. Except for the pond lights. I gave the fishes their nightly feast. Pellets were flowing from right to left. Then i wondered. How is papa doing. He's in the Phillipines right now. Wonder what he's doing. Mama's asleep. So is Ira. Brother still on the machine chatting with his peeps. Then,i finally sat down. And started thinking of making a blog. It ended up like this. I wonder how this blog would look like in a months time. That is, if i had the time and energy to keep going on like this. But i'll try. I won't dissapoint too early.

The clouds and stars shut the night. The sun awaits eagerly i suppose over the other end. Waiting for its turn. I havent prayed my Isya' yet. In vain i am. Someone text me. Saying that she had problems with her life,parents and studies. So, the best treatment i could give was what people gave me. Prayer. Allah is always accepting us. Why not take the chance to open up to Him? I mean it won't cost u a thing. Anyway, tomorrow im going for friday prayers insyaAllah at 12.45pm. then im meeting with Nad, Jae and Zae *ironic,i know* in One Utama at 2.00. I think afiq will be there too. I miss them alot. Has been a very very long season since i've last seen them.

Alright, to sum up this set of post, i pray that the world is in safe hands tonight. And i hope tomorrow morning would be as aspiring to everyone. God bless. Salam.