Joey McIntyre-Stay The Same

A song someone special to me sang to us when we were kids.

A song someone special sang to my sister when she was just born.

A song which brought us together in his arms.

A song i'll remember forever :)

and a tribute to everyone out there ;)

Streetdancer George Sampson on Britain's Got Talent 2008

wow..his spirit..just captured my heart.. 'with the money, i pay for my classes and petrol for my mum to drive...'

oh how sweet is that..? :) oh and two thumbs up for the moves kid ;) i'll be seeing u on tv then :D

p.s: this was what happened to RAIN/BI from Korea btw ;) he started off exactly like this.. except he was found by another dancer+singer. :)

this dude has my vote alright ;)

a crushed thought...? maybe not.

and i still wait....

i've been waiting. for months. years. and now. i still wait. and wait again till that day arrives. when you touch the land of where i'm now. till the day we are seen in front of our own soul vessels and eyes.

till that day, i'll wait and hang on. to what i believe. and what you believe. for whatever you feel, i've felt. i hope i'm not clapping alone for alone is such a harsh thing.

waiting can be a bit of a whine. but whining, has never been my thing. so i'll wait.

till the day our eyes meet. till the day Allah brings us together. 

till then.. i wait..

Hilmi

literacy?

Was watching a video and transcript on Tun Dr. Mahathir's recent interview with Stephen on Hardtalk. 

My my, i sure do not know what is going on back home. For all i know, Malaysia has its political downfalls now. But im just referring to how u answered back to Stephen Sackur. By jolly, you were brilliant. :) facts from faults. two thumbs up Tun. :)

p.s: a note from a worried Malaysian (me), to the STAR ONLINE, please change your commentators , the ones in your online videos at www.thestar.com.my.

i feel many foreigners would make us a laughing stock listening to English spoken in such a tongue of utter gibberish pronunciation. tq

Image and Experience : lecture

Today i had a great time listening to Simon Denison's lecture. it was regarding the title above. The oblivious question remained throughout the lecture and even till now, me sitting on my chair typing this column.

The question, WHY DO WE TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS?

We visit famous places and marks like; the London Eye, Westminister's Abbey, KLCC, Masjidil Haram, Eiffel, Colosseum and etc, and we take photographs of the buildings, scenery and the people. Whether ourselves or our loved one's. I believe this question is radically challenging the logical mind. To why we take photographs, no one has a direct answer.

Some say; " I want to show everyone i was HERE! " . That would be the most reckoning reply, no?

We then moved on to the subject of events. Weddings, Birthdays and etc. Why do we have people holding the camera.? What's the importance of this cameramen and camera's being around? 

Another hot topic of this session was regarding family oriented images. Some people still have images of their great grands no? Why do they still keep them? Why bother if it's taking up so much space in that cupboard. Throw them out! Burn them! Strike a pose and tear them already.

but could you? i reckon not. :)

that's what makes photography a simple form of narration in our lives. as a side note, if people have heard about ' ISLAM forbids photography', please shut it and listen. Islam forbids photography when it goes out of hands! not when you're taking the beautiful nature of Allah's world and just that. Photography is only forbidden when you try to create things which defy Allah and so call CHALLENGE HIM. now THAT's bad.

back to the topic of why and why.

now i could just sum it up as.....

 " I, personally take photographs to somehow preserve and narrate how i've constructed my whole life "

a mistake..?

Oh my mistake.. im not doing Artist book for my next optional module. i didnt ,unfortunately opt for that.

instead i'm doing:

MEDIA AND MATERIALS in communication

a very interesting subject. and also being taught again by Sam Muhizam.

DIGITAL MEDIA goes as planned. Taught also by a malaysian lecturer; Kelvin Wong. :)

wish me luck! classes starts thursday and friday ;)

salam

Love...Sick?

Hey! The weekend's gone just like that. Baffled by my friend, Amar, his works are truly astonishing. He has a mind of a creative being. and skills of a super computer. Hahahaha. Hmm i DO NOT ENVY his works. I like them. I find inspiration and truly, i am happy to see an acquaintance doing really well.

I myself haven't been slacking as well :P hehe apparently, i've started to think about the other 4 pieces of work i still need to complete for my second semester of THS. Apparently, it's a slow process and takes up your mind and soul to do it. Hahaha. Interest and Passion plays a huge role in this.

I was watching PRINCESS MONONOKE a few hours ago. After dinnner. It was breathtaking and somewhat too fantasy for me. Another accomplishment by the studio who also created Spirited Away, they have this certain technique and creation of 'monsters' and demons. hahahaha. i give them an 8/10. :)

Tomorrow is another week to start. For the people who's been asking what i meant by 7 weeks, hahaha it's the date ill go home!! and see my family and friends. God i really miss everyone. 

I havent been speaking my heart these days. I havent been really 'personal' with my blog. Personal ie: self reflected. mirror..? hahaha well, im solemnly trying to comfort myself at times and think that everything is alright. I sometimes think it's gonna end soon. But what is the end?

The end is when Allah pulls us out from this earth and call us upon Him. That would mean the end to me. Before that moment comes, ill strive and work hard for what i want and dream. 

I miss warmth. Aku rindu akan belaian. I miss the comfort which i never really had. I envy people who has comfort by their side. I feel outrageously annoyed to think of time and how time passes by. I've never actually thought of this whilst pre youth. But then again, it's all hope and faith that comes into play. I've always seemed to put a smile on my face whenever someone asks me " how r u?!" in common YOOF language, i'd just say "M FINE" thanks ;)

but am i really fine..? Truth albeit the fact it's hidden and surpasses all logic of understanding. I try not to portray emotional affection to people. Affection. I wonder what that feels like. Ive felt affection from people. Especially my parents. Oh God, i love them. 

I'm just rambling because im bored? or is it because even boredom is bored with me..? i think it's time for me to look out for myself. i always pray for the people around me. I always ask Allah to make me comfortable in whatever situation i've landed myself in. Sometimes, i just feel weak? Supposedly, a man isn't supposed to feel weak? inside nor outside. mentally speaking, i miss mental affection. 

my heart weakens and body tires when i think too much about what i want. i want. i want. it just feels like a curse. 

i want this. i want that. those. these. apparently. i'm akin to having affection and love.... wait.. did i say love? speck that away. love exists but only as a visual imagery. or is it?

i wonder why i'm complaining. i do love. love, yes i do. but felt love. feeling love. love. i've never actually pondered that long for love. does it matter if i did? what does love reckon in this. 

how my eyes have gleamed with gracious love but grieved with magnificent abomination. How love struck people in acts and thoughts. i hope Allah keep those away from me. But yes, i love to love. but loving a lover is a different love. is it not love, love?

lovely night tonight. an early warm night of spring summer breeze. How will i be loved..? How will love treat me..? For me to know later on, For you to find out. What cliché's im living in. A world full of lust and desires, but nay of peace and truth. Anyways, enough of my illiterate blabbations of utter disgust, i'd rather leave it to faith and Allah to decide what happens. :) for i leave my fate with Him. 

Love is like the earth. You venture it and receive it from many directions. Wind. Water. Fire. Earth. For love is everlasting and doesn't give grief. But who proposes love to you is the utter huge question. Question? Questioning who should love someone. Loving someone is a quest? or question? 

I leave the questions and answer sessions later on with life. I rest my thoughts tonight on a quotation:

" Love is only true when it fully blooms "

i bid farewell for the night.

Salam 

Hilmi

homesick, lovesick and heartsick.

Snake: Development

An accidental piece of work for my Game Design thingy. Was HEAVILY criticised by Mr.(cannot be named). Saying that it was a piece of crap. hahahha whatever it is, im still gonna go for the snake idea :P

up next..! mario+batman... do we need another hero?? 

Snake: Development

Snake Development:

with help from wRong (not real name :P), i managed to do these ones below. :D comments!

i tried to fuse 'cyborg'+mechanised look to the snake. 

i tried putting together a series of snakes so that it looks more shocking and gives more impact.

THS: Disciplining Video Games

Above is the piece of work i produced (still under development) in context with Video Games. I have actually produced three others for the topics:

1) Installation Art

2) High Tech

3) Image and Word

The above piece is about Metal Gear Solid. A game which handles espionage, action and tactics. Dates back to 1995 if im not mistaken.

list of names:

1) Metal Gear Solid

2)Metal Gear Solid 2 : Sons of Liberty

3) Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

4) Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of Patriots

The one above is only a 'concept' of MGS 5. Juxtaposing SOLID SNAKE (main character) with a real snake.

comments and critiques welcome!

Names

Narrated by AbuWahab Al-Jushami;

Rasulullah s.a.w said: 

"Call yourselves by the names of the Prophets (Isa,Musa,Muhammad etc). 

The names dearest to Allah are Abdullah (servant of Allah) and Abdul Rahman (Servant of the Most Gracious).

The truest are Harith (provider) and Hammam (i think it's PRAISE/LAUD). 

The worst are Harb (war) and Murrah(bitterness). "

a narration for the night. :)

Salam

Muhammad Hilmi Ramlan ;)

Lately i've been watching lots of DVD's from the library. They have an extensive collection of DVD's. Contemporary and Classic.

Current DVD's :

1) A Beautiful Mind

2) Princess Mononoke

3) CONTACTS 2 - photography

Persuasion results

Fooooh... Heart-pounding i tell you. It was amazing! :D didnt get a 1st but alhamdulillah i achieved a 2.1. Which is good by the way. hehehe

Alhamdulillah i praise to Allah. Syukur kepada Tuhan ku ya Rabb. InsyaALLAH, i'll try my very best to work and strive better in the future. :)

Next week;

for the next 8 weeks of my second semester ( before i fly home for summer) , ill be doing:

exhibit A

Artist Book 

-learn how to design a book! how cool is that! :P

exhibit B

Digital Media

-exploitation of Vector and Pixel based media. ie: Photoshop and Illustrator wehh!!! :D

So the conclusion of PART 1 Semester 2:

How Designers Persuade 68% 2nd Upper Class

Photography 87% 1st Class

Thanks to EVERYONE who has supported me physically and mentally!!

I pray i'll be working hard and achieve better results this time around ;) pray for me.

Salam

Hilmi

A Photographic Step..

Module result, Class and feedback by lecturer.

Feedback from Lecturer

ALHAMDULILLAH. 

Praise be to Allah for giving me the chance to prove myself worthy. :)

Above are my results and feedback for my Photography Module. I am just speechless.I achieved the highest in my batch, according to David Miles (lecturer).  InsyaAllah i'll keep on working, fighting, strive and pursue my dreams and passion. 

oh and thanks for the support pa ;) really appreciate it.

anyway, tomorrow is another heart beating day. I'm getting my Persuasion module feedback tomorrow. The one subject which worried me so much. I hope i'll do well. :) pray for me!

Salam 

Hilmi

wooh... tomorrow..i'll be receiving my feedback for my PHOTOGRAPHY module. Hmm... very worrying. InsyaAllah, i'll be alright. :) insyaAllah a first. 

astaghfirullah  insyaAllah

i pray for the best

Worried, thus closing my eyes

birmingham - spring under siege of snow

confusion. i've been having them in my mind since i cant remember. I've been ridiculed by confusion since God knows when. I've been confused. confused i was before this and ever.

i do not understand the uncertain non logical answer to it's confusion. my matter is, why do people need to be gravely inconsiderate. Being a person is about taking care of the other people around you. No? Comments? Well i think so. So stick with it.

Understand. Listen and form a circle of focus to create a stable environment. Rather than keeping it to yourself. I really do not understand such people. 

anyway, havent been a good lad these few days. i havent really looked at work. at all. im really worried about the results this thursday and friday. that's why. Im trying to keep myself occupied with other things. like..sleeping..so that i wont think of the results. i've put in so much effort. i just hope im gonna do brilliantly. 

regarding my accommodation, i havent much luck. 'cept the fact im thinking of the options i've had before. i REALLY want to stay back in the halls. :( it is SO much more convenient. 

helplessly, i pray to Him. InsyaAllah He'll help with his grace. 

I pray...

Allah Humma La Sahla

Illa Ma ja All Tahu Sahla

Wa Ann Tata Ja Alul Hasna

Iza Syik Ta Sah La...

Allah tests me with difficulties. Allah gives the easy and the difficult. All comes from Him. And thus, the solution to things, easy or difficult, comes from him. :)

I pray.

Salam

Of roast beef, chicken jerk and chocolate fudge cake...

chicken.. on its way

after ;)

before

cuddle!!

whilst waiting

the master chef kak fida!

sliced roast beef

roast beef..

the crew ;) not including lots more

woooohh...kambing rosemary!

food served!

food .. indulge.

hahaha... :P

gravy testing..hmm

little jasmine had a blast too :D

WOW! had a blast! cooking and munching of course! :D

we had lots of fun. kak fida was nice to teach all of us how to cook these masterpieces :)

kak liza and kak fida went off to smallheath to get the halal meats and spices. cost was remarkably cheap. cheaper than malaysia honestly ;)

we had sparkling mango drink. non alcoholic i mind u ;) there was chocolate fudge cake and oh my. im even clueless. ahaha

we started cooking at about 2pm. and ate at 9pm :P the beef. my my. i am honoured being the food tester. :P the gravy and such was just perfect. though i would've preferred the meat to be a little rare ;)

Was amazing. and again. lots of photos of all of us. and the food ;) enjoy!

salam!

hilmi

And another submission :)

submission-photography lecture theatre

Yay! I submitted my research and development for my PERSUASION MODULE :D hmm very light headed now. haha. have been having a long day. very long!

Went and visited my lecturer in Erdington. To see his place cause i might be getting a place just like his. :) am so excited. but it WILL cost a bomb of money to my parents :'(

i just pray Allah would help us and murahkan rezeki agar tidak kesusahan. :)

anyway tomorrow's a big day too. 

Roast beef, yorkshire pudding, chicken jerk and so on so forth! 

hahaha yummy eh? it's gonna be cooked by kak Fida. a friend of mine. a friend of kak liza's. :D

anyways lots of photo's tomorrow iAllah. James Iskandar and Jasmine Israh are coming too! :P lots of fun honestly. I needed some laughs after a worrying week. hehe

my parents will be flying from Vietnam today. so hope they'll have a safe flight :)

till then!

salam

Photography submission

Yes! I did it!

i've submitted my PHOTOGRAPHY JOURNAL this early morning at exactly 9.55am in the Photography lecture theatre. Amazing. I felt the whole stress that has been on my shoulders being lifted up. 

although.....

i still have my PERSUASION MODULE up for tomorrow. 

Alhamdulillah, everything has been going VERY smooth.

 Though i somewhat doubt my Persuasion module i'd be doing very well. Sorry for not being optimistic but yes, i do feel that. BUT! I put my FULL trust with ALLAH. May He reward me for what i have done and all i can do is just Tawakal and wait. :)

Whatever happens, i'm sure Allah has made reasons for it to happen. Qada' and Qadar. 

So yes, people! Pray i'll be getting great results (preferably 1st's) for my modules.

Another worrying matter is my Theoretical studies 8 pieces. I've completed only 3. Not a bad number. But worrying.

I have to research and read more on Pop Art, Game Design and Photography+experience. I hope i'll manage. InsyaAllah.

Till then! 

p.s: Roast Beef with kak fida on saturday! woohoo!! masak2 !

Of times together

cups of coffee to remind us

Today i remembered what i went through in the early years of youth. i remembered my friends who made me what i am now. i remembered those pranks and jokes we played. i remembered those things which actually made me cry and i wont lie. i did. i remembered how we used to tackle each day and what came to a parody in the kids today. i also thought of the loved ones that i cherished. the people i loved. the people i envied. envy if i had to, i still had respect for them.

For whatever happened, life still had to go on. I had to move on. I didn't have a choice did i? Even if i did, i'd never have done anything to hurt or hurl. Look at now. I cant believe my own eyes. We're all seperated. to the corners of the world. Each destined with what is in our hearts and minds. Look at us. All grown up and learning. Thinking. Searching. 

I look back at the galleries i have of us. The lot of lots. The people who made my day a glad. I can't believe we are all on our own now. Being pessimistic has never been so annoying. Being optimistic is really encouraging. People should try it.

Maybe it's a vacation God has placed upon us. A vacation where we go our own leads and gain our own faiths. But what results we may find would only be with Him. 

It's been a few years since i felt togetherness. Not being in context of family by the way. Mind you that it's been seven months since i've left home for knowledge and experience. Seven months, inclusive of interludes of course ;)

Not trying to be all emotional and sad but this whole situation of being in desperation of warmth and suffice gather is really pissing me off. But what can i do but zikir to Allah and may He give me a thought and mind to ease myself.

Tomorrow and the next would determine what i've been doing, believe and worked on for the past seven weeks. It will show how much i've achieved. InsyaAllah and only Allah knows how best it might turn out. For i've given my whole trust to Him.

Tonight i end the night with a quotation i remembered from Mrs. Naidu, a teacher, fellow friend and mate:

" Don't put in mind what other people think or say about you. Do what you are doing and just focus. Even if it doesn't turn out well. At least, you finished what you've sought out to do"

salam alaykum

hamas vs israel

people.. 

how is it fair that you kill double of what you lose?

how is it fair that you say they are the terrorists when you are terrorizing their lands?

please, kill soldiers and commanders if you would like. but not the children. what do they know?

i am actually crying knowing the fact that israel kills children and are just blindly bombing everyone at the gaza strip.. for heaven's sake.. no wait

for earth's sake! stop already..

i have to admit.. 

the mee goreng i cooked today was amazing.. worthy of : 

" Best mee goreng Hilmi has ever done.."

hmm... might even try it again tomorrow... with prawns and cockles this time..?

je ne sais pas.. ;)

rindu....

rindu..

i miss her... i miss the times we spent together.. not thinking of anything else.. except the time to get back home :P

i miss the times where i could be myself.. where i could express myself.. though sometimes really unexplainable.. i still miss her.. 

it'll be not too long now till the time.. i really do miss you...   

je t'aime

jazz...

move your feet ladies and gents.. that's what it's for!! 

;)

passion..

passion...

the thing that keeps me going.. and running about..

the thing that tunes me..

the thing that make other things in focus..

kebe nga ngan...

hilmi sangat bengang!! baju baju yg dia basuh terdapat kotoran2 lagi............................

of friends..

2006

likewise, while looking through images.. found this old piece of me and zehan.. :) 

remembrance of what we went through before was just astonishing.. 

and i thank you..

p.s: muke aku memang takle blah..dengan misai nyer lagik.. aduuhhh

faces

the best photo i could ever find.. just look at our faces!!! 

Raya/Eid 2005

purple!

cousins all over :D

aunt and uncles ;) with atuk n wan

woah...was looking through my galleries of pictures... damn...memories..hahaha

hmm above are the images of me and my family.. hahahah :D Loves it!!

iallah this year round, ill be at home..where i should..for Eid.. :) alhamdulillah..

the lot!

be strong!

woman! be strong! :D ill always be there for you...

hugs!!

controversy..

paradigm shift - liverpool (hujan concert)

woah..can't believe this whole accommodation problem is getting a whole load on my shoulders! God.. :(

hope it's all going to be alright in the end.. hmm..

nways.. was at kak liza's yesterday..spent some time during the weekend.. oh and also.. this week is submission week :D hope it'll be really great!

so far..my assignments are looking quite alright.. iAllah it'll be alright..

salam

when boredom strikes..creativity increases :P

utter weirdness.....

and i shed...

hair! hahaha... watashiwa.. potong rambut dessu! well..not that much..but yeah..it's alright ;) cost me about 8 quids..argh...nways.. will see me with a rather medium short cut soon .. till then..!

Un Deux Trois...

mi + ayu + fairuz

and now..i wait..

alone as i am.. i wait in the midst of circumstances which comes to me as responsibilities..

i wait and wait for the right moment..a moment of brief seconds to prove my worth..

wait.. and wait.. sabr.. patience..

whilst waiting.. my mind converses.. within myself..

for now is the time to wait.. and see.. what happens..

Zatoichi : The Blind Swordsman

Wow! That's all i can say about this movie. Though slow at first.. a normal reckoning of japanese movies :P haha.. it then ends with this really cool ending! 

man..i dont want to return the dvd back to the library hahhaha :P

comments:

well the movie is really fictional. Based on the Edo era of the Japanese feudal lines. Other than that, it was the time Samurai and Bushido was just about to 'grow'. and people liked killing each other :P hahaha.

the actors were brilliant. photo editing.. blood.. well.. not really real..but..will do :D hahaha.

the ending is just superb!! i mean..the credits!! you dont usually find something like that everyday ;)

a 9/10 !! congrats Takeshi Kitano ;) it's worth watching.

it's soon..

cardiff - cymru - wales

hey guys! sorry havent been up to date with the blog. :)

somehow my internet has been a biatch here. so please bear with me. oh and zakirah.. yes moi moi jiwang!! :D hahaha

nways.. today had my RVJ final check before sending it in for submission next week.. cant believe its been 8 weeks now.. hmm 7 months since i've been here in the uk.. how time flies..

was watching LOTS of movies today.. loaned them from the university library... resourceful aye?

LIST OF MOVIES:

ZAITOCHI 

amazing movie!! a must watch for japanese+samurai+funny+kill bill ish movie fans! hahaha

" when i close my eyes.. my senses tend to be sharper.. "

-masseur

Troy

nearly fell asleep :P hahahha

Nightmare Before Christmas

ahhh an old favourite of mine..though..only watched it like..3 or 4 times..? hmm

Les Miserables.

amazing musical.. love it!

anywho.. im having my last journal check for my Persuasion's class tomorrow.. wish me luck..iAllah it'll all be alright ;)

somewhat.. i feel this semester is gonna be a great one.. on paper ie: results and my self.. haha

till next time.. cheerio!

Salam

notebook...

the notebook tells of how a couple endures their lives and how dramatic it turns out..when the wife forgets who she is..family..husband..love..life..

i kinda lied to her saying that i fell asleep while watching it half way.. hehe but yeah.. 

it was truly a beautiful movie..beautiful..very beautiful..

determination..anything for love.. 365 letters in a year.. do u think im like that :P hahaha id have a take and see what i'm like in that position...

somehow, i found the allie, the leading girl in the movie, resembles her alot.. haha was smiling for awhile.. 

her characteristics...her sole spirit.. her look at things..her take on things.. man.. very close..

a 10/10 rating from me... ;)

" read this to me.. and ill come back to you..."

Revised: NSPCC poster

hilmi...hilmi...hilmi... apa la NGAP sangat tak pikir yg ADSHEL tu takleh Landscape?!?!?!??!

>:O

sabar je la..hm nways

revised version of the NSPCC.. my final chosen work.. critics si'l vous plait!

ARGH!!!! I HAVE TO REDO MY NSPCC POSTER!! i totally forgot.. ADSHEL's are PORTRAITS!!!

Syakirah's birthday party 2008!

it's my sayang sister's birthday party photos. :) man...really wanted to be there.. sorry i wasnt there :(

will be home real soon! :) counting!!

oh... psstttt.... someone knows how to breakdance now..hmm if i tried..mama and papa might have to replace the ceilings and lantai.. ahhhahhah

oh and to my darling mama.. she looks beautiful... :D

hmm mana la gambar papa.. :S hahahahah