A lot of things

There's been so many things happening in my life recently. There's been good, bad and even things that I still can't believe happened. Many of which I sometimes want to share here, but at times are better lived in my heart and mind. I hope you'd understand. There are just things that I can say. Not because I'm ashamed or embarrassed, but there are just no words to attain that magical thought I have in my mind.

I know for sure that I love what's going on. I've got someone who loves me. And I love her too. I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit it for I really do love her. She plays such a huge part in my life. The small little details that make my life just so much better. She brightens up my days when the weather looks literally gloomy. Or just metaphorically gloom. Whenever we look eye to eye, I feel really guilty for putting her in such a terrible position. Having to wait for me to return from overseas. A long time to wait, i've got to clear that one out. 9 months. That's if I return within that period. I pray to Allah and hope that we would keep loving each other and understand each other better. I know this isn't hard for the both of us.

When i see her face, she smiles like there isn't anything bothering her. That smile which isn't fake. A bright one at that. Just looking at her makes my world feel so much better. Specially when you're used to seeing sad and despair. Her beautiful face just races through my head whenever I feel like problems coming my way. She is somewhat an antidote. A potion. A spell to help me put away curses on my head.

Funny thing, i've never really written such things. I can be myself whenever I think of her. Not ashamed at what I do. And just blasting out at things. Never before. Being alive. Yeah. That's it. Alive. She waits for me. Being patient when I take so long. She's there for me. Whenever I need someone. To love, hold and love again. I don't know if looking at her on the screen and trying to get to her means I'm crazy. The funny faces she makes, just to make me feel better. The funny things she does to make me laugh. To smile. I'm never gonna get any better.

We've spent magical moments together. Though they were short. I cherish each and every one of it. Having to pick you up from the station. And listening to your cheeky stories of our travels in the wee early mornings, just to come and see me. Having dinner with you and talking about what life means to you. Your family, friends and of others. Holding your hand and just getting lost in a mall where i'm so familiar with. Till the moment we say goodbye and look each other in the eye. And wait for the next time we meet again.

But this time my dear, it wont be easy. But i know we'll pull through. Be strong. And I will too. InsyAllah.

Always and Always.

I love you.