When i am asked..

the questions i do not want to answer, i simply close my eyes and pretend i didn't hear it. At time, it can be rather annoying to hear things when you know the answers of it. The tendencies of peopl asking questions, which the answers they already know.

Answers answers answers. The solution to problems. When we face turmoil, the first thing we think of is GOD. Oh Allah. Or, if you are less religious, shit, crap and f**k comes first. No offence :)

Anyway, experiencing the most sad part of being a sibling is when i'm not able to be what they hope of me. Sometimes, it's hard to satisfy everyone. I try to fulfill what i am asked of, but sometimes, it's just too difficult.

Blabbering on, sometimes i just think i'm trying too hard. I am only human. Nothing more. Nothing less. I do lack a few 'features'. Having the idea that i'm the eldest in the family brings great weight to my shoulders. I know my parents know that. And they support me for it. Alhamdulillah.

My siblings, i pray each day and night for your success and happiness. Like what i always tell them, HAPPINESS and success is something you can only obtain, earn and search for. You cannot ask and get it instanteanously. Like what papa would always say to me, work for it. You've just got to do it.

Alhamdulillah, i've been given the privileges of the world. Living at ease, with great rewards and comfortable lifestyle. Alhamdulillah for all the great things that happen in my life. Loving family. Caring friends. But sometimes, i just hope my siblings would learn of that as well.

I told my sister Syakirah, Birthdays are not just about the presents. It's not also about the celebrations. It's also about being thankful to your Creator in giving you life and breath to continue your journey in this world. I always remind myself and of my brother and sister, that in life, we often ask of things which are just too much. Forgetting that we are already living such a lavishly decorated life. Although we (especially me) envy others whose lives are much MORE lavished, i still am thankful for even having the bread and butter of life on my table. More than bread and butter.

Sykur i am to Allah and to my parents for giving so much support and great trust in whatever i do here. A few thousand miles away. Trusting me with such amount of investment. haha i sound like a businessman now. The reason i'm writing this is to remind myself and others that, in this life, we are only for awhile. There's nothing permanent. Like they say, we live only once. Yes we do, so why waste it on useless and unbeneficial things? :)

Always put family first. I'd die for them. I'd bleed for them. I'd sacrifice what i can for my family. No doubt. No second thoughts. Sometimes, when i was younger, i used to think why papa wouldn't let me do such things. Why he would just interfere. Did he? Or did I make him sound like he was? Our parents are much wiser than us. They've been through what we have. That's why they know best. :)

Although many might not agree. That's just too bad for you. At least i know, at the end of the day, when friends forsake me (i know they wont), i have my family that i can count on. My father whose advice and words inspire me to be the man i dream of. And my mother's soft spoken words which soothes my heart with great comfort. And the thing that drives me forward, my brother and sister.

I made a promise which i'll never break. I rarely break promises anyway.

A promise to keep us all together. TO be bonded by laughter, happiness and spirit. InsyaAllah.

:)

p.s: i wanted to let out a few things in my heart. this has nothing to do with anything. so don't worry! :D