There he went, another farewell for me. On that very plane, we said our goodbyes. My brother left on the Emirates flight earlier this afternoon. It was rather sad to have seen him go. Again, i'm left alone. I keep trying hard to be positive, but taking this up alone is not an easy task. Not when you know you what's going to happen.
This year, i proposed to myself. I reflected to myself, that i haven't done much to prove my worth. This year, insyaAllah with Allah's blessings, i will initiate self-briefs and make it work. I will learn as much as i can throughout. Only this 'positive' mind, whatever you want to call it, makes me move and look forward. I always appear strong, sensible and at peace. Truth? I'm fighting myself in the inside. Trying to survive the very moment with my heart at the tip of the sword.
Sometimes guys, the only one you can REALLY really count on would be.... God.. I'm not saying that i'm a religious person. BUT i think, there are some things where no one can take place. Where HE is there for you. To guide. To show you the way. And insyaAllah, to bring you 'out of the darkness'.
I've always been oppressed with myself. I speak within my own heart, and contradict it at times. I sometimes cry to Allah and beg him, ask him and pray that he'll answer my questions and doubts.
The one thing I fear, is the one thing i Love. Ya Allah. Guide me throughout my journey on earth, and the hereafter.
Amin.
p.s: hope u had a safe trip. my regards to all in KL ;)
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