Did you think...?

I know it's just the way it goes. But for sure, turning back at the past. It seemed so good. Even for the front walk path.

What if it was all just a dream untrue? What if i could have just left it all behind? One day in my life, in tears, will you let me cry?

My life, part of it was devoted to it. But how could i not see it? What made me 'fall' for such a circumstance?

How could i leave it all behind..? With tears ill leave crying. 

Aku tak mengerti mengapa. Mengapa aku tidak boleh seperti yang lain. Mengapa aku tidak mempunyai a warm essence of a heart beside my own. Why does it look so promising yet pompous?

I just wanted the best of things. For both hearts. I wont live it on a dream or hope. I cant turn my back on love. Time has made me so much stronger. And more intuitive of things around me. 

The one thing i ask for was just that hand to walk with me. Not just a shadow. Foreshadowing? I'm not even sure where mine is.

Ar Rahman. Ar Rahim. The most caring. The most loving. I ask of you. Which pitt should i be waiting in front now? Or should i just back off and tell the tales of my own from a far?

One day in your life. In mine. I only ask for minutes of a day from the heart. But is that much of a strong to ask request? I sure think so. Maybe there's more to it than that.

There's nothing more to say. But of only inspiration from a song. Sung of utter disappointment. Such a surreal life im living. Great family. Great support. Loving. Caring. But not of the other.

How sad can a man be when his heart is not content? Surpassing all logic of socialites, i've never contemplated on why it turned like this. Why i've ended up with this.

End? It never does. I suppose, endings never have endings. Do they..?

People might be reading this and trying to intellectually figure out what Hilmi has in mind. Somewhere out there. My heart is just lost. Im still sane thank you very much. But just.. not whole heartedly here. Heart broken? broken heart? how do you break a heart? Since when did singers knew how to mend broken hearts..?

No. My heart isn't broken. If that's your question. Yes sir, it's not broken. It's just not there anymore. I haven't a clue where i've left it. Oh wait.. i know. Or do i?

Maybe it's with..